CD 16: I've Got One of Those Feelings...

It goes without saying that as someone who is dealing with infertility, I've unfortunately had to experience many, many unsuccessful cycles over a long period of time. (In case you are wondering, we are currently in month 19 and cycle number 16... meaning 15 times we have had to suffer through the extreme disappointment of not being pregnant.) 

For whatever reason, this cycle just feels different somehow. I have this overwhelming optimistic feeling that this cycle could be it for us.

Maybe it's the fact that lately it seems so many people who are dealing with infertility have gotten pregnant when they are on a treatment break... which is our situation right now as my upcoming laparoscopic surgery approaches. I keep thinking about what an incredible miracle it would be for God to bless us with a pregnancy this cycle when we are going all natural.

Maybe I am feeling hopeful because I am focusing so much on my health right now... taking a fish oil daily, eating right (lots of fresh fruits and veggies and very few carbs), and walking 2 miles five times a week.

Maybe it's because based on OPKs, it looks like I might get a positive tomorrow, which would be the earliest I've ever had one without medication. (I've ovulated as late as CD 40.)

Maybe it's because the timing would be perfect. The due date would be the beginning of March... which is just perfect as a teacher. I think I'd have enough days to get me all the way to summer break!

Most importantly, though, maybe it was the message I heard at church last Sunday entitled, "How to Change Your World," which was all about overcoming obstacles. One phrase I wrote down was "Put your foot on the devil of disease." I couldn't help but think of infertility as soon as this statement was made. The message also made me think of Romans 8:18, which basically states that the pain I've been feeling is nothing compared to the joy that's coming...

Maybe I'm wrong... but I pray with all my heart that this feeling will come to fruition.