CD 4: Still Waiting

What am I waiting on? Lots of things.

Of course, I'm still waiting on my miracle. Ya know, the moment I look down at a pregnancy test and actually see two pink lines.

I'm waiting on the day I can tell my husband we are finally pregnant.

I'm waiting on the cycle I can avoid acting like I've completely lost my mind. Case in point... at the end of last cycle, I had bright red bleeding on 12 DPO and convinced myself it was implantation bleeding because my progesterone was higher than it had ever been, so it was impossible to already be getting my period. Yeah, right. What was I thinking?

I'm waiting for the perfect opportunity to tell our parents we are pregnant. Yesterday I was informed by my brother-in-law's girlfriend that my mother-in-law thinks "something is definitely going on" because we moved our dogs to the garage and cleaned out and painted our front bedroom. Awesome. Nothing like some extra added pressure. Believe me, MIL, I wish something was "going on."

I'm waiting for all of these things because I know it will be worth it in the end.

On another note, I feel like there have been multiple occasions where God has really spoken to me through music. I mentioned one time several entries ago, but this past week there was another occurrence. I was on my way home from work and turned into the CVS parking lot to pick up my Clomid prescription. For whatever reason, I changed my mind, deciding I didn't really feel like dealing with getting my prescription right then. As I was pulling out, the song "Who You Are" by JJ Heller came on the radio. The song literally begins, "All she wanted was a baby to hold." Anyway, the basic message of the song is that we don't know God's plans, but he is God, and his plans are so much better than ours. I have to remind myself of this constantly during this journey, and I just know God knew I needed to hear that song at that exact moment, because if I had gone inside CVS, I wouldn't have heard it at all.

If you want to listen, here it is: