Wednesday, February 27, 2013

CD 8: Times Are Tough

Last night was excruciatingly tough. I don't know why, honestly. Well, actually I do, but there wasn't any specific event or happening that triggered my depressed episode of hysterical crying that lasted for at least fifteen minutes. It was awful. Full on ugly cry. Completely sobbing while lying in bed listening to music, uncontrollably squeezing my eyes together so tight it hurt. Black mascara streaming down my cheeks. 

I felt so hopeless and alone. Not only because J is out of town, but also because I am truly feeling like I have no one in real life to help me through this tumultuous journey. Really, I was just feeling incredibly sorry for myself and our less-than-desirable circumstances.

I thought about calling my mom mid-sob, but I was crying so hard I'm pretty sure I would have just about given her a panic attack and made her think something really horrible had happened. 

Something horrible and tragic is happening, though, and I hate it. I hate feeling helpless and alone. 

I'm really hoping this is all Clomid talking and I can get out of this funk. 


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2 comments:

  1. AmieFebruary 28, 2013 at 7:42 AM

    Times like that are so hard but a good cry is just what is needed sometimes to help you feel a little better afterward. It's times like these that I try to remind myself how blessed I really am. To have an incredible Husband and family along with everything else in my life and that everything will work out in the right time. Hope that helps in some tiny way :-)

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    1. HeatherFebruary 28, 2013 at 5:57 PM

      Thanks, friend. The cry did make me feel slightly better! And you are right, I know I am very blessed. I was just throwing myself a major pity party!

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