14 DPO: Pretty Sure I'm Out.

Today has been really, really difficult. I let my hopes get way too high this cycle... honestly to the point where I was borderline obsessive about temping and testing. Who knows how many wondfo's I went through this cycle. I just let myself believe that this cycle really might be it for us. I had more "symptoms" than ever and a great looking chart. In the back of my head I knew it was because I had a stronger ovulation because of the clomid, thus increasing my progesterone and "symptoms." I simply chose to ignore reality and instead believe they could be actual pregnancy symptoms.

When I woke up this morning to a huge temp drop, I knew immediately it was over. I knew I was out, and I'm not taking it very well. Right now I just feel like it's never going to happen. I keep wondering to myself why not me? Of course, I can't possibly know the answer to that. 

At the moment I am just wishing that AF would hurry up and get here so I can start fresh. Although, thinking about dealing with another cycle (the meds, all the RE's appointments, etc.) and it only ending in another BFN is so disheartening. I know everyone is disappointed when a cycle ends in a BFN, but it is just so different when it's a medicated cycle. You feel like you have worked so hard, giving it everything you have... for nothing. 

The song below describes how I feel perfectly (Warning: It's a tearjerker.)