CD 4: Injection # 1 Complete!

It's done! I did it! And I must say... the anticipation leading up to injecting myself was about 10,000 times worse than the actual shot itself. I may or may not have three little poke marks on my stomach... twice from barely poking myself before finally getting brave and jabbing it in my stomach for real! Ha!

Honestly, though, it didn't end up hurting at all! Not even a little bit! Hopefully this means that tomorrow I won't get so nervous when it's time to give it. We shall see!

Oh, and as a random "duh" moment... I closed the lid on the sharps container... before I realized that it locks permanently when you do that! Oh, well. Guess I'll just be using an empty water bottle or something for the rest of this cycle. I'd say at least I learned my lesson for next time, but I am praying so, so hard that there is no next time!!!

CD 2: Injects Here We Come

The meds in the picture above cost over $1,000. Thankfully, my insurance covers 50%, and THEN there was a $500 off coupon at the pharmacy I used, so my OOP cost was only $85. However, this is only 5 days worth of Bravelle and a trigger shot, so if I need more Bravelle, it will be about $50 per vial, and I'm starting out with two vials a day. That could add up really, really fast. Please pray I respond well to the five days worth and don't need any more!

Everything went well at my baseline appointment today. My nurse counted about 20 follicles total (10 per ovary), and she was pleased with that! I start the injections on Saturday, and will do them every day through Wednesday. I go back for my first monitoring appointment next Thursday at 8:00 AM. I am praying A LOT for quick growth and a few good follicles on my left ovary, specifically.

Oh, and I found out my results from AMH testing that I asked to have done... mine is a 4.2, which my nurse said was fantastic and above average. In doing some of my own research, though, a level higher than 3.0 can be indicative of PCOS (which I already know I have). Either way, it looks like I don't need to worry about my ovarian reserve!!

I'll probably update again on Saturday after I do my first injection. Yikes! So nervous!!!

CD 25: So Ready to Move On!

So, I'm currently on CD 25. I'm probably about 6 DPO, but considering I didn't temp or do OPKs this cycle (I needed to restore some sanity after temping just about every day for the past 20 months), there's no way to really know for sure. Needless to say, it's been kind of nice not really worrying about everything. I'm not positive J and I even hit my fertile window this month because I went out of town with my mom on CD 19, and that's usually the day I ovulate as of recently, but... even if we did, it's not like I'm expecting some miracle pregnancy at this point based on past cycles. Don't get me wrong. If it happened, I'd obviously be thrilled! But honestly, I'm just ready to move onto injects and IUI so that I can feel like we are actually doing something again.

Anyway, as I mentioned, I went out of town with my mom. We went to Savannah, GA, and it was great! It's such a cute little city! I took about a million pictures... so I'll post a few!

View of the river from the roof of our hotel

Line to get ice cream at Leopold's... definitely worth it

Pirate's House restaurant... supposedly haunted

Room inside the Pirate's House called Herb House, which is the oldest in Georgia

Awesome restaurant we ate at for lunch one day

Goosefeathers is famous for their whoopie pies...

And their bread pudding

On River Street

Can't tell that great from the picture, but all of the stairs there were SO steep

Fun little bar on River Street

Yes, those are frozen alcoholic beverages on the wall

We went to Tybee Island for a day

Restaurant called Coco's on Tybee Island... very good

This place on Tybee Island had some interesting art

Cute shopping area on Tybee Island

Lighthouse on Tybee Island

Dueling piano bar called Savannah Smiles... so much fun

My mom and me at Savannah Smiles

My mom and me in front of a beautiful fountain at Forsyth Park

Love this fountain

Restaurant that Jenny worked at on Forrest Gump

So... I Got Really Brave...

and decided to get a tattoo today! I have been thinking about it for awhile now. It's definitely not something that is typical of me, but I just wanted something related to the journey we are on. I love it because it reminds me to never give up hope. It's based on the verse Hebrews 6:19, which says, "We have this hope [that God will keep His promises] as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." In verses 13-15 it is talking about God's promise to Abraham to bless him with many children. In verse 15 it says,  "And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised."

Anyway, I came across this verse today and it just seemed right, so I went for it! I figured if I waited I would change my mind. It definitely hurt. If I'm being honest, it probably hurt more than I thought it was going to, but I love the end result! I'm proud of myself that I didn't cry until my best friend that came with me started talking about what an incredible story this would be to tell my future children. So, yes, I cried, but it was from the emotional pain, not physical. I also got brave for another reason, which is that I posted the picture of the tattoo on Instagram and Facebook with #infertilitysucks. So, it's definitely out in the open now (although, not like, in your face...).

One of my friends (not a close friend) even sent me the sweetest message telling me that I had been on her heart lately, and she wasn't sure why, but she had been praying for me. Yeah, talk about waterworks! Definitely made me cry!

And don't worry, I wouldn't do a post like this without the pictures for proof!

CD 10: Post-Op Appointment

I just got back from my post-op appointment a little bit ago, and everything is looking great! I did learn a few new things about the surgery. First, Dr. S. said that more than likely the polyps, which were about 1 cm each, had formed after my HSG that was done in November, as he didn't see them on the x-ray then. He said that they can make it more difficult to get pregnant, but they weren't necessarily the reason the clomid didn't work. Second, I ovulated from my right ovary last cycle (BOO!! My tube is on the other side!). Most importantly, though, the polyps were benign! Praise God! I had a dream last week that I found out they were cancerous and had to have my uterus removed. Yeah, I definitely woke up crying. It sucked. 

I am also happy to say that we have a plan for next cycle! On CD 1 I need to call to schedule an appointment for CD 3 to have blood work and an ultrasound. If everything looks good, I will start Bravelle injections (150 iu). I think it's from CD 4-9, but I will find out more when I go in on CD 3. Depending on how everything looks, they will adjust my dosage, and when everything looks good, I will give myself a trigger shot. About 36 hours after that I will go in for an IUI. 

So, even though I am happy we have a plan, I'm also really nervous for a lot of reasons. For one thing the Bravelle is going to be a lot more expensive than clomid. I am so, so thankful that my insurance covers up to 8 IUIs and 50% of the medication (up to a $2,500 lifetime max), but that $2,500 will run out pretty quickly if the first IUI isn't successful... and so will OUR money. The whole money thing makes me uneasy just because if it doesn't work, it will feel like we threw a bunch of money down the drain. 

Another reason I'm nervous is the fact that I have to give myself shots. Luckily needles don't really make me queasy or anything, but, I dunno... I'm not any kind of medical professional. I have a DVD to watch that Dr. S. gave me today, so maybe watching that will make me feel a bit better.

I'm nervous because there is a 20% chance of multiples, and that's just scary for me knowing that I only have half a uterus.

And... most of all, I'm nervous because this is one step closer to IVF. And, I mean, what if it doesn't work? Then what? Dr. S. said IVF runs around $12,000. We definitely don't have that kind of money just lying around. Sometimes it seems so unfair that some people have to pay so much money to have a baby, yet others (including those not so deserving) get pregnant for free.

Anyway, I am choosing to be optimistic that this new plan will work for us and I will be happily pregnant in the near future!